Sometimes it’s lonely - having cancer. It can be difficult to witness the world continue to rotate at its normal, steady pace, when you have cancer. It can be insufferable to sit in traffic or be stuck in line…don’t they know, you don’t have a minute to waste? It can be painful to watch everyone around you laugh with carefree abandon - what’s so damn funny? Don’t they know I’m fighting for my life over here? Everyone who has walked in your shoes, days, years or even decades ahead can relate to the sense of loss, of loneliness, of feeling left behind, of feeling strange about new emotions, of being uncomfortable with changes in your body that come with cancer treatment, of being disappointed, angry, terrified, exhausted and everything in between.

Leal Health, Our Story - TrialJectory

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Jack Gierlich

Cancer, Party of One - TrialJectory

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Cancer, Party of One

Intimacy. Finally…there it was… the real victim of my cancer treatment. The honest-to-goodness casualty of the brutal side-effects inflicted by the cancer drugs that were saving my life but consequently destroying anything and everything else in their path. My confidence took a hit when my body started to fall apart and the strong, assertive, accomplished young woman in the mirror turned into someone I didn’t know and didn’t want to see. She was pale and weathered…with a chubby face and exhausted eyes, no hair or eyebrows, no breasts, no conviction. But I certainly didn’t want to pity her, um, me. And didn’t want others to pity her either. I let the disconnect between the memory of who I once was to the reflection I saw in the mirror seep into every corner of spirit and consciousness.  Unknowingly, I had built a tall invisible fortress around myself, surrounded by deep moats and fiery dragons and it was impossible to let anyone in…particularly my closest and dearest. Them, especially, I wanted to protect from the actual horrors that were sprinting through my psyche and unleashing their poisons throughout my body. It was during the darkest moments of terror…when I feared for my life and despaired over the wreckage that would be left in the aftermath of my death…that those walls went up higher and the intimacy and comfort, that I likely needed, was shut off from the world and most tragically from my family.  

Intimacy & Cancer: A Personal Affair - TrialJectory

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Intimacy &#038; Cancer: A Personal Affair

Dear Friend, Caregiver, Loved One and Perfect Stranger,Not to overstate the obvious, but people with cancer get tired, exhausted, simply depleted…physically and mentally and emotionally. Even their hair hurts. That kind of supreme fatigue can lead to anger, sarcasm, and even passive-aggression. Cancer patients sometimes lash out and bite the heads off of their well-intentioned friends only to immediately regret it in their next breath.For example, after my double mastectomy, I offered my sister the jello sitting on my hospital tray. I wasn’t planning to eat it but when she accepted, I screamed at her for always taking hand-outs and fat-shamed her…over a cup of jello. Irrational? Yes, absolutely and also hurtful. But the roller coaster of feelings and unreasonable thoughts are all part of a cancer journey. And each person has their own journey. So if a loved one is going through cancer, buckle up for the ride, check for loose objects in the cockpit, and most importantly do not take things too personally.And now for your public service announcement, here are the 10 things you probably do not want to say to someone with cancer:

10 Things NOT to Say to a Cancer Patient - TrialJectory

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10 Things NOT to Say to a Cancer Patient

In 2008, I was having some problems with pain in my rear end so I went to the walk-in clinic to investigate the cause.  The doctor looked over the situation and then asked me if he could bring a cancer surgeon into the room to look at it.  This question didn’t thrill me but I said yes. 

Glenn Sellnow's Cancer Story - TrialJectory

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Glenn Sellnow&#8217;s Cancer Story

Scars. They reflect the roadmap of our lives. No matter if they are beautiful or ugly….they’re ours. Meaningful and sometimes tragic reminders of the battles fought, lives produced and everything in between. I have nearly 30 individual scars on my one body – sixteen of them acquired only at 2 weeks of age when, as an infant, I fought a raging staph infection that nearly took my life before it even began.

Anatomy of a Scar: A Reflection - TrialJectory

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Cancer, Party of One

Intimacy & Cancer: A Personal Affair

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Leal Health, Our Story

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Cancer, Party of One

Patients

Intimacy & Cancer: A Personal Affair

Patients

10 Things NOT to Say to a Cancer Patient

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Glenn Sellnow’s Cancer Story

Patients

Anatomy of a Scar: A Reflection

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